Funny Status Ideas

Wow comma I just realized if I tap the microphone on my keyboard I don't have to type out my statuses anymore exclamation point

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody is there to appreciate it.

Sometimes I add things to my to-do list that I’ve already done just so I can immediately cross them off.

I'm good at counting cards. I keep ending up with 52.

Egg salad is just another form of chicken salad.

Bricks are just rocks that have been domesticated.

What if the lightbulb had never been invented? How would we know when someone has a really good idea?