Funny Status Ideas

I bet now a lot of doctors are going to be reluctant to respond to “Is there a doctor on the plane?”

Financial status: I hope United Airlines drags me off my flight

My friend works at a rubber dog poop factory. He'll never get rich, but he makes doo.

United should roll out Rodeo Rewards where you get paid based on how long you are able to stay on the plane when you are chosen to volunteer.

I love it when I Google something I should know the answer to and find out 308 people are just as dumb as I am.

If I ever start a band, I'm going to call it The Voices in My Head. Think of all the fun ways you can tell other people what you're listening to...

Chocolate is a flavor of milk, and milk is a flavor of chocolate.