Funny Status Ideas

If I was gonna make a bomb, I'd use the same color wire for the whole thing.

Traffic jams are more tolerable if you just think of them as really boring parades.

They don't say "Get down Mr. President" anymore. Now they just shout, "Donald Duck!"

What thinks the unthinkable? An itheberg.

I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.

French people give me the crepes.

I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo.