Funny Status Ideas

It’s so nice outside I should probably close the blinds so there isn’t a glare on my screen.

The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. At least, that's what the restraining order says.

The ruling on the field stands. Aaron Hernandez did not get both feet on the ground in time.

You never know how little self control you have until they put chips and salsa in front of you at a Mexican restaurant.

Some people should come with subtitles.

Bad news, A friend of mine fell into a reupholstering machine. Good news, Hes now recovered.

I put my phone on airplane mode, and it dragged me out of my seat.