Funny Status Ideas

Why do we call it the Sun instead of a space heater?

Each day is a gift, but some days are socks and underwear

I'm tired of people assuming I've got a good personality because I'm ugly.

Why is it called a "personal trainer", instead of an "exercist"?

Is it weird to get naked during a massage? At what point can I ask the masseuse to put his pants back on?

If I was gonna make a bomb, I'd use the same color wire for the whole thing.

Traffic jams are more tolerable if you just think of them as really boring parades.