Funny Status Ideas

Turkish ruler Erdogan was at the White House this week. Sources say he arrived very early so he could beat the crowd.

I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

I feel like it's a little insensitive for Batman movies to be rated PG.

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

United States is where moms get a day and shark get a whole week.

Dropping a can of soda and sticking it back in the fridge all shaken up for the next person to open is not as funny when you live by yourself.