Funny Status Ideas

if there's no gravity underwater, why do mermaids need those seashell bra's?

If there's one thing I've learned hiking, it's the early bird gets the face full of spider webs

Don't get me wrong, Chinese food is amazing. But I'll be damned if they expect me to believe that a chicken fried this rice.

So you have 820 friends on Facebook and yet no one was around to take your picture when you decided to use the mirror for a good shot?

My "check engine" light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there...silly light.

I only call them yoga pants because Netflix and eat leftovers pants was too long.

With the rise of self-driving vehicles, eventually there will be a country song about how your truck left you too.