Funny Status Ideas

It must be extremely hard to be a Nigerian lawyer who specializes in international inheritance law.

The only difference between the New Matrix movie and the old ones is that the Red & Blue pills are now suppositories

I tried to use Beef Stew as my computer password but apparently it wasn’t “stroganoff”

Joe Exotic doesn't sing Christmas songs because he f#$king hates Carols

We squint at the sun because it's bright. We squint at people because they'e not.

Everything I know about the Kardashians, I learned against my will.

Jussie Smollett says he is disappointed at the verdict but he isn't isn't going to beat himself up over it.