Funny Status Ideas

I should never have climbed into this vat of curdled milk. I'm in whey over my head.

I just want to read, have a snack, then take a nap. Basically, I just want to be in kindergarten again.

How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach? It's not hard.

"Lmao" - a French cat

Having to cash in my State Quarter Collection's map for gas money is reaching a new low.

Last night, I fell asleep with one of those new e-cigarettes in my mouth. I woke up half an hour later & my whole apartment was on the internet.

In case of fire, do not use the elevator. Use water...