Funny Status Ideas

I'll admit I'm not perfect but what did the horse I rode in on do?

I'm naming my car Conor Mcgregor. it costs me a lot of money and has been beat to crap.

I wouldn't pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands.

T-shirts should come in a size between XL and XXL called "I'm still hoping to turn things around"

I don't care if its a scam! Just the fact that the Prince of Nigeria sends me personal email makes me feel special!

If your house doesn't have house numbers on it, you need to address that situation.

They should make a "How It's Made" episode on how "How It's Made" is made.