Funny Status Ideas

I don't care about Disney lying about the Prince Charmings out there. I'm more annoyed that random woodland creatures won't clean my house.

You've got to love yourself. Just not in public places...

It must suck to be an air conditioner repairman. You spend your day working in buildings that have no air conditioning. When it's fixed and finally cool, you leave.

I just removed my hard wood floor in my bedroom and found a beautiful carpet underneath.

At the stroke of midnight on August 31, Pumpkin spice everywhere!

I'll admit I'm not perfect but what did the horse I rode in on do?

I'm naming my car Conor Mcgregor. it costs me a lot of money and has been beat to crap.