Funny Status Ideas

The trouble with living alone is that it's always my turn to do dishes.

It's only a matter of time until "Security cameras of Wal-Mart" become a hit reality show.

I had to call my dog long distance. Good thing I had rollover minutes!

My girlfriend is like the square root of -100. A solid 10, but also imaginary...

How much time has to pass before grave robbing is considered archaeology?

Hugh Hefner lived so long his first wife was named "Mildred" and his last one was named "Crystal."

Hugh Hefner dead at age 91. With the amount of Viagra that guy must have been taking, good luck closing THAT casket lid.