Funny Status Ideas

Technically, Humpty Dumpty died a crack head

Well, well, well… Welcome to stutter class.

I used to work at a fire hydrant factory. I couldn't park anywhere near the place

Adulthood is when 4:30am is early in the morning instead of late at night.

I have an irrational fear of speed bumps but, I’m slowly getting over it.

It's with a heavy heart that I announce...I have high cholesterol.

So many people are obsessed with vampires these days....who needs vampires when a mortgage and a job are enough to suck the life out of you.