Funny Status Ideas

Cake and pie can’t compete. If you put candles in a cake it’s birthday cake. Put candles in a pie and someone’s drunk in the kitchen.

Call me a lightweight, but I get drunk on one beer. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the ninth or tenth beer.

This is probably not the year to hang mistletoe around the workplace.

Christmas is truly a magical time. It's made all my money disappear!

Baby gates are parents' way of saying "this area is locked until you’ve gained more experience."

It kinda makes sense that the target audience for fidget spinners lost interest in them so quickly

The five stages of grief sound like Santa's terrible backup reindeer.