Funny Status Ideas

I just realized that if we drink enough wine, the adult's table will become the kid's table.

If you’re going Black Friday shopping, be a decent human being and turn your phone horizontal before you record any fights.

No matter how many lasagna’s you stack on top of each other, ultimately it’s always just one lasagna

I'm pretty sure all dogs can smell drugs. It's just that most of them aren't snitches.

My dad always used to say, "The sky's the limit!" Which is probably why he got fired from his job at NASA.

Technically it was Moses that had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.

"Probiotic" sounds a lot better than "bacteria infested"