Funny Status Ideas

Spicy food is like BDSM for your mouth

30 years later and my Cabbage Patch Kid still has no clue that he's adopted.

Three things I’m thankful for this time of year: Family Friends Caller ID to avoid family and friends

Instead of kissing at midnight on December 31st, we should do group hugs. The last thing people should feel going into the new year is alone.

My girlfriend broke up with me because she says I was obsessed with football. I was shocked. I mean we were together for 3 1/2 seasons!

The downside of being a bomb disposal technician. It takes 6 hours to open Christmas gifts.

My thoughts and prayers go out to all the people spending Christmas with family who voted differently than they did.