Funny Status Ideas

I realized that at my income level "Wealth Management" really just means re-organizing the money in my wallet by denomination.

I bet these kids eating Tide Pods don’t have skid marks in their underwear.

I bet if there were little basketball hoops above every garbage can, littering would greatly decrease.

The jury is stil out on climate change, but we trust a Groundhog to predict the weather.

I'm celebrating Groundhog Day by repeating the same crappy day I had yesterday.

You know that it's going to be a long day at work when you have already been to all of your favorite websites for the day and there are still a few hours to go

If you're over 18 but under 21 and are arrested for drinking alcohol, you can be charged as an adult for being under aged.