Funny Status Ideas

Space heaters are the perfect housewarming gifts.

After four karate lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast

My house looks like I'm losing a game of Jumanji.

A tattoo doesn’t tell you very much about a person, but where they put the tattoo does.

I don't know if Facebook has ever made the lame to walk. But it has, beyond all doubt, enabled the dumb to speak.

All I ask is that if we arm the teachers, that the librarians get silencers.

Being a camera must be pretty cool. You get to sleep until there's something cool to see.