Funny Status Ideas

My house looks like I'm losing a game of Jumanji.

A tattoo doesn’t tell you very much about a person, but where they put the tattoo does.

I don't know if Facebook has ever made the lame to walk. But it has, beyond all doubt, enabled the dumb to speak.

All I ask is that if we arm the teachers, that the librarians get silencers.

Being a camera must be pretty cool. You get to sleep until there's something cool to see.

You know it's time to clean your screen when you start confusing dirt with punctuation.

For Sale. Old batteries, free of charge.