Funny Status Ideas

On the bright side, package theft is down 98% in Austin Texas.

If I procrastinated any harder right now, it would have to involve time travel.

Inventor of camping: "Hey, let's go pretend to be homeless."

If you rearrange the letters of "postmen" they get really pissed off.

I'm just amazed after all these years that we STILL haven't seen Mario's buttcrack.

Too bad alcohol isn't heavily discounted the day after St. Patrick's Day the way candy is after Valentine's Day.

You know you've reached adulthood when your bed is in the middle of the wall instead of in the corner.