Funny Status Ideas

If boys screamed at girl bands the way girls scream at boy bands it would be terrifying and hilarious

Note to self: you never read these notes so stop writing them.

The opposite of "tying the knot" is "no strings attached"

People often say laughter is the best medicine, but they neglect to mention that an overdose can cause one’s ass to fall off.

Being a regular church-goer on Easter is like being a regular gym-goer on New Years

Chik-Fil-A Should post a big "We're Open" sign and leave cars in the lot tomorrow for April Fool's Day

I'm combining Easter and April Fools day this year - I'm sending the kids out to look for eggs I haven't hidden.