Funny Status Ideas

People are way less judgmental when you say you had an "avocado salad" instead of saying you ate a bowl of guacamole.

Whenever Im put on hold for more then 10 minutes I always wonder how long I'd have to wait if my call wasn't "Very Important" to them?

An egg salad is a chicken salad that is really underdone.

I need a site like match.com but for tupperware lids.

If the paleo diet works so well, why did the Flintstones need vitamins?

I think the worst fate would be a mime stuck in an actual soundproof invisible box.

Meal prepping is basically eating a week's worth of leftovers from a meal that never happened.