Funny Status Ideas

The number 5 is like an honorary even number.

My Bills are so big that I have to call them William now.

You call it "Blacking Out" I call it a "Surprise Nap"

This year for Mother's Day, I'm going to make Mom feel 20 years younger by bringing her my laundry.

A friend of mine just quit his job selling computer parts. He lost his drive.

Driving with your gas tank door open is the equivalent to having your zipper down.

I bet Jellyfish are sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish.