Funny Status Ideas

You call it "Blacking Out" I call it a "Surprise Nap"

This year for Mother's Day, I'm going to make Mom feel 20 years younger by bringing her my laundry.

A friend of mine just quit his job selling computer parts. He lost his drive.

Driving with your gas tank door open is the equivalent to having your zipper down.

I bet Jellyfish are sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish.

I just scrolled so far back on Facebook's Timeline it logged me back onto MySpace

I'm the type of person that loves people...Except when I'm driving. That's when I hate you guys.