Funny Status Ideas

It's funny how many people I have in my phones contact list who all have the same name Do Not Answer.

My blood test came back as B+ Any tips how I can get an A+ next time?

In fact, yes, l can multitask. I can screw up several things at once.

I am not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.

I went to an Italian restaurant named Bulimia. The line at the bathroom was incredibly long.

The number 5 is like an honorary even number.

My Bills are so big that I have to call them William now.