Funny Status Ideas

Don’t piss off old people. The older they get, the less ‘life in prison’ is a deterrent.

Futons are the most disappointing Transformers ever.

Why don't they just say "Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this endless sax solo" instead of telling me every 5 minutes how important my call is to them interrupting this riveting sax solo.

I met a girl who told me that the she broke up with her last boyfriend as he just didn't work out, which is when knew right away she wasn't the one for me as I hate to work out as well.

Step 1: Remove food from packaging Step 2: Throw out packaging Step 3: Dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time Repeat steps 2 & 3 as necessary

Why do I get the feeling that a lot of adults nowadays who ask kids "What do you want to be when you grow up?" are just trying to come up with some ideas?

K-Mart announced they will close 108 stores putting 16 cashiers out of work.