Funny Status Ideas

I think the only way I'll ever be motivated to go to the gym is if I'm in prison.

Ironing boards are just surf boards that gave up their dreams and got real jobs.

The Great Wall of China has brought more foreigners than it has kept out.

The same people that made fun of me for my calculator watch in high school are now wearing Apple watches.

I don't know why I ever signed up for Facebook. I mean like seriously, this dating website sucks!

Don’t piss off old people. The older they get, the less ‘life in prison’ is a deterrent.

Futons are the most disappointing Transformers ever.