Funny Status Ideas

The biggest cause of cancer in mice is research.

I got carded at the liquor store. While getting my ID out my Blockbuster card fell out. He laughed and said "Never mind."

Picked up a hitchhiker last night. He said thanks how do you know I’m not a serial killer? I replied the chances of two serial killer’s being in the same car are astronomical.

I don't get personal trainers. I've never been exercising and thought "man, I wish someone hot was criticizing me right now."

When we give each other a thumbs up, it's our way of mocking every other animal on earth.

Ever since I installed Adblocker, I have been severely depressed. Hot singles in my area are no longer interested in me.

The number 5 is like an honorary even number.