Funny Status Ideas

I was bitten by a mosquito last night. Bet that little bastard is pretty hung-over today

I just decorated my bedroom to look like my desk at work so I can fall sleep faster.

If at any point in your life you feel useless, just remember there are people on the BMW assembly lines that install turn signals.

The reason grilled ham & cheese sandwiches and tomato soup go so well together is because it's basically pizza split in two.

You can tell the Beastie Boys were really close because they would finish each other’s sentences.

All cookies are "bite size" if you believe in yourself enough.

Arguing with people in the comments section is like crack for me. I don't do it.