Funny Status Ideas

*breaks a sweat* Sweatshop Owner: You’re gonna have to pay for that

I exercised once, but found I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous.

If Wonder Woman and Spiderman went into business together would they call it Amazon Web Services?

Would a transformer buy life insurance or car insurance?

I bet it’s pretty hard at a mime’s funeral to figure out when the moment of silence is over.

Maroon is just navy red.

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early if you ask me.