Funny Status Ideas

You know you're getting old when bending over is a one-way trip.

So a year ago today I asked a really beautiful friend out on a date and today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times.

A hospital is the only commercial establishment where the worse service they provide you, the more you'll come back.

If you’re no longer covered by your parent’s health insurance, your manufacturer’s warranty is over.

Today sure as hell didn't turn out much like the brochure described.

Sometimes I think hip hop music gets a bad rap.

Remember, pretty much all of the “tough guys” you see on TV and movies were theater majors in college.