Funny Status Ideas

My mood ring is missing and I don't know how to feel about it.

Just sold my homing pigeon on eBay again.

Any psychic who has bells on their door to let them know someone is there is probably not worth it.

Dear friends older than 37: You don't have to put 2 spaces after the period anymore. That was for the typewriter era. You're free.

I wished I believed everyone as much as I believe Steve Harvey on Family Feud when he says, “Boy, do we have a good one for you today!”

if Kaepernick and Tebow were signed as backups for the same team, i believe all our country’s problems would be solved.

The SPCA needs to open a bar. I know a ton of guys that bring home dogs from the bar.