Funny Status Ideas

If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd probably come in fourth so I wouldn't need to walk up to the podium.

I bought a high definition TV because I felt the lack of resolution was affecting my ability to solve cases on CSI

I'm not stealing WI-FI. If it lands on my property, it's mine.

Hey, anybody have a charger? My milk is at 2%.

The organ section of the black market does not have instruments.

You can catch flies with honey, but you catch more honeys being fly!

I'm holding cheerleader try outs for my "Fantasy football team". Full outfits are encourage but not necessary.