Funny Status Ideas

I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude.'

Ever wondered, "What would happen if a marshmallow peep got hit by a train?" We did.

I wish you could Google anything. Like, "Where the fuck is my phone?" and it would be like, "It's under the couch dumbass."

Is it considered sexual assault if a midget walks up to you and says you hair smells nice?

i was taking a shower when my mom told me i had my clothes on.

The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money

Some people u know were dropped on their heads as babies. Some were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall & fell out the window.