Funny Status Ideas

Some people won't admit their faults. I would, If I had any.

When you sit on a toilet you are connecting your butt to a large network of connected butts.

I wonder if the guy who coined the term "One Hit Wonder" came up with any other phrases.

If a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears, my illegal logging business is a success.

I'll take "inflation" for 400 billion dollars, Alex.

I'm not sure what shocked my mailman more, the fact that I came to the door completely naked, or the fact that I knew where he lived.

Witches have black cats because if they had white cats they would have white cat hair all over their clothes.