Funny Status Ideas

I may have schizophrenia, but at least I have each other.

Why does it sound like I have heard all these Gaga songs before. OH yeah.. I grew up with Madonna.

I survived the zombie apocalypse and all I got was this insatiable hunger.

I got an STD from a hipster. My doctor said he's never heard of it.

I've never seen a tombstone that read: "Died from not forwarding that text to ten people."

Ever been hit on by a gay guy with downs syndrome? I have. Just now.

Understand that while you're partying, people like me are trying to get ahead in life taking YOUR spot.