Funny Status Ideas

Dear life, When I said "can my day get any worse?" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

a monkey sucking penis is funny in every language!

Life is not like a box of chocolates... It's more like a jar of jalapenos: What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow!

Mother Earth must be getting senile...April showers are NOT supposed to bring May showers!

The woman drowned her husband in the washing machine? I guess you could say she must have been quite... *puts on shades* agitated. YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH

We're very sorry Mr. Bond, but it appears you have 213 sexually transmitted diseases, 18 of which are normally only found in sharks. We highly recommend you contact every woman you have been with in the last year.

The only source of knowledge is experience. - Albert Einstein