Funny Status Ideas

Young people will wait longer in a self-scan isle at the grocery store so they don’t have to deal with humans, but old people will wait longer in a regular lane so they don’t have to deal with computers.

So many people are obsessed with vampires these days. Who needs vampires when a mortgage and a job are enough to suck the life out of you?

The State Fair is hopefully the only place you see adults walking around with their newest stuffed animal.

Weed is now legal in Canada. In other news, Taco Bell announces 697 new stores in Canada.

You've already put up your Christmas tree? That's nothing. I'm already drunk for St. Patrick's Day.

Opera is basically just screaming in cursive.

Getting money for your birthday is like passing ‘Go’ in Monopoly.