Funny Status Ideas

Say "I won a math debate" really fast.

I'm not allowed to watch Harry Potter without reading the bible afterwards lol .

Unless the place you're checking into has celebs, free drinks, or is on fire, Twitter doesn't need to know about it.

Guns don't kill people, dad's with pretty daughters do.

A cat falls into a puddle of water. A chicken starts laughing hysterically. The moral of the story is "A Wet Pussy Makes A Cock Very Happy".

I hate when I look horrible in a group picture and the person who looks good, refuses to delete it.

I love facebook. It's the only place I can talk to a wall and not look like an idiot.