Funny Status Ideas

If Wyle E Coyote had enough cash to buy all that ACME crap why didnt he just buy dinner?

The Only Lies That Hurt You Are The Ones You Tell Yourself #Wisdom

I Should Run A Marathon Backward So I Can See What 2nd Place Look Like...

If a person is texting while walking through a crosswalk against oncoming traffic that has green light I think it should be legal to hit them

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Just wrote "he gets rescued from pirates by a timetravelling dinosaur in a hot air balloon" as a note to myself for tomorrow. I love my job.

"The only person who never makes mistakes is the person who never does anything." - Denis Waitley