Funny Status Ideas

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean.

Age is no guarantee of maturity. -Lawana Blackwell

Girls are like police. Even when they get a hold of all the evidence, they still want to hear the truth from you.

The awkward moment when there's a guest over in your house and you would like them to leave but they won't.