Funny Status Ideas

If tried, I hope Weiner gets a stiff sentence.

If you teach sex ed, it's good to tell kids the feelings they're having are normal, but funnier to single one out and mouth "Except yours."

My Gmail is impenetrable to hackers in China because my password is just eight letter L's.

You can't win a marathon without wearing Band-Aids on your nipples.

Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?

We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them

Bros before hoes... unless the hoes have no clothes