Funny Status Ideas

I wonder what the part of my brain, that used to store telephone numbers, is doing nowadays...

Teachers are not "Off for the summer", they are in recovery. ‬

Johnny Depp gets 15 million dollars for being with a nut job. And all these years I've been doing it for free!

When I'm in a good mood I act like I'm I'm in a bad mood so nobody approaches me and ruins my good mood.

I don't think it's fair that only roosters are allowed to start the day screaming.

Mansplaining is a correctile dysfunction.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last night is now fully recovered.