Funny Status Ideas

Somebody just asked casually if i have a webcam, I can only assume they want to see my junk.

A Grudge is a heavy thing to carry

Dear random person I waved at that looks like someone I know, Just humor me, please. Sincerely, this is freaking embarrassing.

There is always a little truth behind every “Just kidding” A little knowledge behind “I don’t know” A Little emotion behind “I don’t care.”

Today I sent out a text saying, "Hey, I lost my phone, will you call it?" 12 people called me...I need smarter friends.

I can have any woman I please. So far, I haven't pleased any of them.

Steve Jobs is getting his own comic book. It appears DC comics decided The Flash needed a new nemesis.