Funny Status Ideas

If "wings" mean "diabetes" then yes, Red Bull gave me that.

On the off chance I'm captured by cannibals, I've got a 'Best if eaten by 1975' tattoo on my neck.

Women are like countries: I've been inside 2 of them. One just because I was born there.

Just saw an ad for a tampon with the tagline "Gives better protection. Period." I normally approve of puns, but that's just a bloody disgrace...

If you watch Godzilla vs King Kong backwards it's about two monsters who forget their differences and build a city.

I live in fear that one day the real "World's Greatest Dad" is going to show up to reclaim his rightful mug.

I think Father's Day should be celebrated with the activity that made us fathers.