Funny Status Ideas

The only sure thing about luck is that it will change.

I don't know what's more disturbing? My son reading a billboard that says "LIVE NUDE GIRLS" or him asking if there's dead ones.

Old people at weddings always poke me n say "You're Next". So I started doing the same to them at funerals....

Every time I almost think humanity is going to be okay, I catch a glimpse of Yahoo Answers.

Two days until JK Rowling announces her new Harry Potter venture! My guess: a book called "Harry Potter and the Big Bags of Cashzkaban."

It must be impossible for penguins to enjoy Casual Fridays.

Hipster farmers don't harvest crops because they're only cool when they're underground.