Funny Status Ideas

As a social experiment, I have named a cat Curiosity. Now we wait.

Today is Rebecca Blacks Birthday, Today She is 14, Last Year She was 13, Next Year She'll be 15, and 16 Comes After That.

The pool in my yard is safe for swimming again. There's no way the snakes could survive the amount of gasoline I dumped in.

There's more than one way to skin a cat, but people usually freak out and call the cops before you're done with the first.

You ever feel a crap coming that makes you think, “maybe I should stretch first?”

Some idiot just told an elevator joke ON an elevator. It was wrong on so many levels

The term "controversial Tweet", while relevant & somewhat accurate, sounds as silly as "ferocious kitten."