Funny Status Ideas

Will I be able to enjoy A Star is Born if I haven't seen the other Bourne movies?

Kissing is weird. At some point, multiple cultures independently came to the conclusion that wanting to lick the inside of somebody's mouth shouldn't be exclusive to dogs.

When I'm not sleepy, I listen to some Chris Brown. That knocks me out right away.

My favorite part about Halloween is seeing all the confused Jehovah's Witnesses wandering around, wondering why they've been given lolly pops.

Halloween really is the perfect time to get rid of all those Taco Bell hot sauce packets.

I had to quit drinking caffeine on DOCTOR'S orders and Alcohol on COURT orders.

I was Christmas shopping for a friend's daughter... I asked what she was into and he said "anything Frozen" So, I got her a bag of peas and some pizza rolls.