Funny Status Ideas

I would enjoy Superman so much more if he flapped his arms when he flew.

Still no electricity. Starting to panic. Just ate the cat.

Imagine getting a text from 666 saying, 'just seeing what's up with you, see you soon.'

Watching "Batman: The Movie", Batman is hanging from a helicopter with a shark biting his leg. He asks for Robin to pass him the "Shark Repellent Bat Spray" If shark repellent existed I would totally keep it in my helicopter, because that's where I would most likely run into sharks.

Mickey Mouse's lawyer: "So you want to divorce Minnie because she's a little crazy?" Mickey: "No. I want to divorce Minnie because she's fuckin' Goofy!"

It's much easier to turn a friendship into love, than love into friendship.

On a first date I wear my karate gi from Jr High, so they feel protected.