Funny Status Ideas

Man, Facebook is slow tonight. I know it's not the connection. The porn is loading no problem.

Glow in the dark condoms. Now you see it. Now you don't.

Checking MySpace is like checking your underwear after a fart. There's probably nothing, but there's a slight chance it has something new.

Want to see me spazz like someone with epilepsy? Lock me in a car with a mosquito.

My job in hell will be to provide 24/7 tech support to my elderly parents over the phone.

I stand outside of One-Hour Photo booths and sing "One day my prints will come" to pass the time away.

At the worst 4th of July party. Only one hot chick and a bunch of screaming kids. Oh wait, I’m at home.