Funny Status Ideas

I feel like prostitutes are the only people who should use the phrase "bang for your buck"

My line of affordable kitchenware is NOT produced in a sweatshop! From what I'm told those children are given PLENTY of anti-perspirant!

Sorry middle-aged women, but it doesn't count as reading if there are abs on the cover of the book.

I dont use Foursquare because I think just Facebook is enough for all my stalkers.

Listen lady, the sign says, "No shoes, no shirt, no service." It doesn't say anything about pants.

The guy who cares for animals at the zoo could leave any girl unsatisfied and she'd still have to tell her friends "he's a keeper you guys"

Would you rather have world peace, or have Justin Beiber lose his vocal chords? Quick! This genie is getting impatient!