Funny Status Ideas

Love is not a mere sentiment or emotion. It is the ultimate truth at the heart of creation.

It's funny how when I see someone on the internet say "taking it for granite", I have an impulse to hit them with a rock.

One time at a rock concert I actually rocked out with my cock out. Turns out music clubs frown on Roosters in attendance.

They say you find love if you're not looking so I'm gonna blindfold myself and dive into a pit full of handsome architects and professors.

Been trying to write what I know, but so far all I've got it "Karate" written over and over for 15 pages.

I figured out that if I have my kids hold on to my cell phone, I will never forget them anywhere again.

You never really miss a person, until you let them go.