Funny Status Ideas

One of my biggest fears is that I'll marry into a family that does 5ks on holidays.

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

I wonder if Vanna ever fell asleep at the wheel

Botox doesn't make you look young, it makes you look like you think you're old.

I think I turned back my clock way too much I just saw a guy with a mullet at Starbucks.

Daylight savings is great because we gain an hour of trying to figure out what time it is.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.